


I ain't sorry

by Anonymous_Lover_3



Series: Our Pendulum Swings [2]
Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: 6 years to be more exact, Age Difference, BAMF Reader, Black Reader, Cheater Tommy Shelby, Cheating, F/F, F/M, Gang Violence, Gun Violence, Implied modern reader, Inventor Reader, Kidnapping, M/M, Miscarriage, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POC Reader, Period-Typical Sexism, Reader is tired of Tommy's bullshit, Reader-Insert, Reincarnation, Sensitive Reader, The Shelbys are protective of Reader, Tommy Shelby is protective of his family, Trauma, Triplets, Twins, herbologist reader, independent reader, modern reader, mother reader, protective Reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2020-11-29 13:22:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20964977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anonymous_Lover_3/pseuds/Anonymous_Lover_3
Summary: Y/n L/n, mother of two, inventor, and herbologist. Not to mention the self proclaimed ex-wife of the cheater Thomas Shelby. After being on the run and hiding from him for the past three years the Shelby family finally find her and the two boy, Charles and Kenji, that they had no idea exist. Now she's being dragged back into the life she wanted nothing to do with, but not without a fight.





	1. Chapter 1

_“You don’t love me Tom! So stop acting like you care about me!" **  
**_

_"That’s not true and you know it!" _

_"Then say it Thomas! Prove me wrong! Because you putting your dick in the barmaid while your wife takes care of this shit show you made ain’t exactly helping your case!”_

_“Its not th- Y/n just listen!-”_

“Mommy! ‘ungry!" 

Opening your eyes you met the heterochromic eyes of your twin toddler boys. They stood in front of you with wide smiles and bouncing as the stood at either side of you. Sitting up straight you gave them a wide smile, shoving the memory of the night you left to the back of your mind as ruffled their curly locks. "Oh are you now? Well let’s get mommy’s two babies food alright?”

“Not 'aby!”

“Yeah! Not 'aby!”

Both of them whined as they followed close behind you. Charles held onto your skirt while Kenji held your hand as you led them to the kitchen. A giggle escaped you as their brown and blue eyes roamed the room for snacks before lunch. They were fraternal twins but alike in every way possible, as expected of twins. Charles was older by 1 hour and had more shaggy hair than Kenji, his left eye was blue and the other brown. While Kenji’s hair was more curly, yet easier to manage than Charles, his right eye blue and other brown. Both of them had the same light brown skin, freckles, dark brows, and smile that lit up your world. Not to mention the same scowl and protective fearless nature of their father. And oh, their laugh. Just like his when you were growing up. There was no doubt they were your husband’s sons and you never denied it, you could never forget him after all. Even with all the pain he caused, there was so much happiness and your sons were the product of that. “What!? Not baby? But you’re my babies!” you teased softly as you began to spread the peanut butter and jelly onto the bread.

The twins looked at each other, an unspoken conversation being shared between them as you made them lunch. Kenji shook his head and pouted as he looked at his brother, the conversation came to an end as Kenji pulled on your skirt. “Not 'aby! We’s 'ig 'oy!" 

"Kenny stop pulling on Mommy’s skirt like that.” You said simply as you cut the first sandwich into 4 little triangles like the boys preferred. Charles didn’t say anything, seemingly in deep thought as he looked up at you staring at your bare stomach. Since you normally only wore undershirts and a simple loose pair of pants it was no surprise that your stomach was exposed. “And don’t be silly Kenny, you and Charlie will always be my babies even when we’re all really really old.”

“Mommy?" 

"Yes Charlie?" 

"What’s tat 'oo-boo on you tum?" 

Glancing down a frown spread across your face as you remember the way you got the wound in the first place. Taking a bullet for Tommy while pregnant wasn’t your best choice but when you woke up and found out he was at the Garrison with Grace it made you realize something. That you didn’t need no fucking man to make it in the world, not when that man was cheating on you. So that same night, after the showdown with Billy Kimber you bought a ticket out of town and settled down. The countryside was nice after all. No smoke, no cars, no Thomas Shelbys and no stress. It was hard, being a pregnant woman of color starting a new life but you did it and made good honest money as a nurse. Your herb and tea mixtures were known all through London and you were proud to support your boys while helping so many people. 

"Mommy?" 

Shaking your head you glanced down at. Charlie and smiled apologetically. "Sorry Charlie Mommy spaced out for a bit. What did you say?" 

Your sons looked at each other once again and then Charles shook his head. "Never 'ind! Is lunch done?" 

Nodding your head you smiled and handed both boys their own plates of food. They giggled and ran off to the living room to eat while they drew pictures. The smile that spread across your face was short lived as you watched as a familiar car pulled up in front of your home. "Boys. Bunker now.” You said calmly, soft enough for them not panic but clear enough for them to know you’re serious.

The two of them took their plates and papers down the hall with them. Kenji pulled on the secret handle of the fireplace and it open ever so slightly, but wide enough for them to squeeze into before it closed. Once it was securely shut you grabbed a robe and tightly wrapped it around you as a knock sounded at the door. Taking a deep breath you opened the door to look at the familiar blue eyes you fell in love with. “Thomas Shelby, John Shelby, Arthur Shelby, and Pollyanna Shelby what brings you all to my front door step? And how did you find me? Was it Alfie?" 

Tommy started into your eyes, and it took everything within you not to crumble and fall into his arms. He was bruised and battered with a red eye and you wanted nothing more than to give him a better treatment than the shit hospital he went to. There were so many things you wanted to do to the Shelby family, most of them pleasant, but right now you just kept your door slightly open and your face indifferent. "I told 'im Y/n about the baby. Why didn’t you tell 'im? Where are they?" 

"It doesn’t matter now, Pol. That’s why I left. I couldn’t stay there knowing my took a bullet for my ex-husband and in return he slept with the barmaid as I lost my child.” you said smoothly as you looked into her brown eyes. Shock spread across her face as she scanned you for any signs for lying, unable to find one she let out a choked sob as Tommy looked at you in pure horror. 

“Y-”

“Save it Thomas. I don’t want your pity. I don’t want your apology. I just want you-" 

"Stop it.” came his harsh voice as he looked down at the ground. 

“Stop what Thoma-”

“Don’t! Don’t call me that!” he growled. Silence surrounded the lot of you as Tommy breathe became ragged and his eyes became wet. “I thought you were dead, we all did. And after 3 years of being apart, of missing you, the last thing I want to hear you call me is Thomas. I don’t care who else calls me it. I just can’t handle it from you." 

You didn’t say anything as you stared into the blue eyes he passed onto your sons, instead you bit your lip as your own eyes got wet. "Tommy you broke my heart. I gave everything. I did everything for you, only to find out from Lizzie fucking Stark you were taking the barmaid to the races. The same thing you promised me when I was 16 and you were 22. You promised me so many things and you broke each and everyone one. Even our wedding vows. I loved you Tommy. No one else! And what did you do!?” You couldn’t stop the tears streaming down your face as you began to yell. Shoving Tommy into Arthur you let them keep falling, knowing none of the Shelbys could stand it. “You slept with the fucking barmaid and took her to the places you promised me! How did it feel huh!? How did it feel to find out I was right? Did you feel stupid?”

“Y/n th-thats enough.” Polly stuttered softly as she tried to embrace you. You easily shook off her grip and stared into the eyes of the man that broke your heart. The man who was still in shock in his brother’s grasp.

“Is it Pol!? Is it!? I told y'all she was a fucking spy from day one and none of you believed me! What changed your mind!? The bullet I lost a baby to!? Or was it the bullet Danny took!? It’s funny how for you Shelbys to listen someone has to die. Well did it work? Did you get what you want-”

“Y/n..”

“Do you feel like a man now Tommy? Are you happy with the outcome? You work alone right!? Well look where it got you! Down a kid! Down a wife! Down a loyal servant! Well don’t worry. Thomas Shelby! I bet you’ve gotten plenty of new ones to repeat the process with!” You spat harshly. You knew your boys might be able to hear you, that’s why you did your best not to curse as you looked at the people you once called a family. Letting out a soft sob you put your face in your hands and brushed it back to pull the twist you had in your hair out of your face. They snapped straight back into place but you didn’t care. You wanted all of them to know you were hurt. “I buried my baby girl. She had toes and fingers and I was about 4 months along according to the doctor. I- I named her Ruby and she could have been beautiful. She could of been happy but instead she’s dead, and I hope you all got what you wanted." 

With a shaky voice you moved to close the door but before you could a foot was placed in the door. "Y/n wait. Hear us out. Please. Can you let us in? I 'ave some letters from the boys and Finn. They miss their Auntie N/n.” John begged weakly, but he knew the effect it had on you. Sniffles left you as slowly opened the door and looked at said letters in John’s hand. Snatching them from him and turning around to walking into your home, you missed the weak reassuring smile John gave his family as they stepped in. 

The first letter belonged to Finn and as you sat down on your couch you smiled at the mess handwriting of the teenage boy, before you left you were teaching him how to read and write after all. As you opened the letter you could feel the seat next to you sink as Tommy sat, while putting a cigarette in his mouth. “No Tommy." 

A sigh escaped him and Pol as they put their cigarettes away and watched you read the first letter with a wet laugh. Finn was your favorite of the Shelby brothers, that much they all knew. He was kind after all and as the Sunflower of Small Heath everyone knew you valued that in a person. When you finished the letter from Finn you moved onto letters from John’s kids. They were all short, written by Pol, and asking if you’ll come back and reading each one made your heart ache. "I miss all of them so much as well. Not a day goes by without me thinking of them." 

"Then come back. We need you.” Arthur said softly. There was an edge to his voice you didn’t like though, staring into his eyes a frown traveled across your face as realization struck and the sight of faint scars on his neck 

“Oh Arthur..” You said softly as you placed the letters down. Standing up you moved to kneel in front of him as you cupped his face gently. Even though you were all adults now you could always read the Shelbys emotions easily. Under your fingers you could feel his pulse hammering against you. “You’re hurting. Aren’t you?" 

A whimper escaped him and just like that you were in his arms as he spoke softly, "It’s me 'ead Y/n. I-I" 

"Shh.. Fine. You win. I’ll be back one day. But for now, let me make you tea. Its with my herbs. The shit doctors give you won’t work like my stuff does.” You said softly, running your fingers through Arthur’s greasy hair. Arthur let you go as he wiped his tears and you stood leaving for the kitchen

“Ain’t that right..” Tommy mumbled under his breath as he took out cigarettes again. Hitting the match against the box he lit his cig to life and took a long drag of it. Polly glance at him as he offered a cigarette to her and with hesitation she took a drag from it as well. “Y/n? Did you mean it when you said you’ll come back?" 

"Yes. Unlike you Tommy I’m not heartless. And I miss the little ones. Finn should be about 15 right now and Ada’s little one should be 4 or 5. And Johns kids should be around 6 to 10.” You listed as you started the water. “Would anyone else like some tea?" 

"Whiskey for me and Tommy please.” Aunt Polly said as she took another drag from the cig before handing it back to Tommy, who moved to stand by your fireplace.

“Sorry, I don’t keep whiskey or liquor of any kind in my house. Nor do I allow smoking Tommy.” You said smoothly as you glanced over your shoulder. “Put it out." 

Tommy groaned and knocked on the fireplace a few times before taking one last drag a rubbing the cig against the bricks. Unknown to him, he alerted the twins that it was time to come out. Everything happened in slow motion and the fireplace moved causing Tommy to stumble and the boys to squeeze out with their empty plates. All eyes were on them and the sitting family members all stood as the looked at the two boys that stared straight into their father’s eyes. With your back turned to them all in the kitchen you gathered the herbs you needed for Arthur’s tea without a clue of what was going on behind you. "Arthur? Do you want any sugar in your tea?" 

"M-mommy..” came Charles soft voice. You turned around quickly and looked at your two boys as they stared at their father in fear. Kenji stood in front of his brother protectively despite being horrified of the tall man in front of him. “Mama!" 

Tears pooled in both of their eyes but Charles is the one that started bawling. Rushing over to them you gathered them both in your arms as they cried and kissed both of their heads as you lifted them up. "Its OK. Mommy’s here. Now let’s put you down for a nap. You two did so well in the bunker." 

"Y/n. Who are they?” came Tommy’s shaky voice and the thought of you moving on from him and being the mother of someone else’s kids. 

“The two that survived the bullet I took for you." You said without hesitation. Aunt Polly covered her mouth in shock while Arthur and John looked at each other and then Tommy, and you. 

"Jesus Tom! 3!? At once!?" 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: Hey! I just wanted to let you know I've made a Twitter! Follow me for Twitter exclusive threads/fics and Polls about up and coming fics
> 
> @Lovelyisback

You didn’t dare turn around, you didn’t want to see their faces. They haven’t even been here an hour and yet everything you worked so hard to hide is unraveling. “You never answered my question, how did you find me?”

“Solomans. How do you know ‘im?” Tommy said as his steps got closer. Knowing you wont get out of this you glanced at Polly with pleading eyes, causing her to let out a sigh and place her hand on Tommy’s shoulder.

“Tommy, let’s wait and give her a few minutes to get those two up stairs before you start a fight.” Aunt Pol said softly as she led Tommy back to the couches to sit down. But Tommy nudged her hand off of his shoulder and took a step closer to you, his patience running thin as you kept your hold on them.

“No. I’m tired of waiting. Y/n answer my question, now.” Tommy hissed out in annoyance. Charles sniffled and buried his face in your neck his eyes full of tears as Kenji glared at Tommy, eyes just as full of tears.

“‘nside ‘oice!” Kenji called back with a shaky voice, his dislike for Tommy at the moment was clear as day. Arthur chuckled and patted Tommy on his shoulder as you walked toward the stairs.

“‘e’s definitely your son Tommy. Looked ‘bout ready tah fight ya too, all for ‘is mum. What are their names?” Arthur teased. Biting your lip you didn’t answer, instead you shifted them in your arms and made your way up the stairs carefully, whispering sweet nothings to them as you did so. You didn’t need to ask your boys how they felt. That much was obvious to you as their heads moved on your shoulders to stare at Tommy as you walked, they didn’t like the way he talked to you. Once you made it to their shared room next to yours you placed them in their beds and kissed their heads after wiping their tears.

“Nap time boys. If you need Mommy I’ll be down stairs. Don’t hesitate to call me if you need something ok?” you said softly as you brushed their curls from their face and kissed them again. “Mommy loves you.”

Giving the boys one last look you closed the door behind you as the got under their comforters. Once you were back down the sound of the kettle going off lead you to the kitchen. “Would anyone else like some tea?”

Polly’s voice came immediately as she smiled at the thought, “The sleepy-time mixture that you used to make every morning for me! I have yet to taste anything as good as yours.” She loved your tea after all. Even though they couldn’t see, you nodded anyway as you prepared two separate tea pot, one with Arthur’s mixture and one with Polly’s. When you opened the cupboard you grabbed one of your matching set of 5 and placed it on the tray with the pots of tea, carrying everything into, including some cookies. Placing the tray down on the coffee table, you poured some Arthur his cup first and handed it to him, careful not to spill the hot liquid. Silence was all that could be heard through the home you owned after serving tea to those who wanted it. “You didn’t have to take them upstairs you know.”

“Knowing Arthur, Tommy and their… colorful vocabulary I felt like that was the best choice.” You teased softly as you lent back into your seat and crossed your legs, taking a careful sip from your tea. “But never mind that, why did you come searching for me? Why are you all here and what do you want?” 

“We need you to comeback.” Tommy said shamelessly. “We’ve grown our business in the past 3 years and now were the third largest bookkeepers. We plan on expanding to London with the help of the Solomans as well.” 

“It sounds like you’ve got everything all planned out and know what to do. So what do you need me and herbs-” you rebuked only to get cut off by John as he decided to pour himself a cup of tea.

“Cut the bullshit Y/n, You’re one of the focking best -no, THE focking best- weapon maker we know. Even though Tommy wont admit it, everyone else will when I say you’re irreplaceable. We need you back.” John explained clearly. 

“I stopped doing that after the boys were born. The only inventions I have left and haven’t sold are in the basement.” 

“Wait you sold your weapons!? The same ones you made just for the Peaky Blinders?”

“Of course I did. You think making this house with all these secret entrances and paths was free? I sold my old invention from back when I was teen and some newer ones. I do miss weapon making but at the same time I don’t. Coming up with new ideas and actually testing them out cost a lot money. And that money I rather use on my baby boys.” you scoffed. Tommy stood up, rubbing his hand down his face as he groaned in frustration. Your inventions were top of the charts, never before seen, easy to hide the use of, conceal and use. And knowing that other people all around London had it in their possession made this process a lot harder. “If it makes you feel any better Tommy the only gang I’ve sold huge loads to was Alfie. He helped me a lot when I was pregnant, even got me workers to build this very house since no one I went to wanted to work for me. So if any of the expansion shit hurts his business in any way I hope you know what you’re getting into.”

“Fine. Fine… Fuck. We can work this out. We just need to go back home, have a family meeting and make a plan.” Tommy grumbled as he began to pace back and forth.

“We? No. No. No Tommy. There is no WE in this, not any more. This is your problem. Not mine or my sons.”

“Our sons, Y/n.”

“I said what I said, and I meant it. They’re _my _sons.” 

Tommy rolled his eyes and turned to look at you with cold blue eyes of annoyance. He must of thought this would all be easy, but hell hath no fury like a protective mother. “Y/n, now’s not the time to argue. We need you back at Small Heath. I need you back.”

“I thought Thomas Shelby needed no one but himself. What changed that? What changed you?” you mocked, causing Polly to take a large gulp of her tea, holding back her laughter as she watched the two of you interact. You were the only person she knew that would step to Tommy, win, and repeat the cycle over and over again. It was amusing to her no matter how old the two of you were. You were a spitfire and a beautiful girl, looks and smarts perfectly dangerous together and you knew it. Polly was the only one watching and listening though as she drank her tea, John and Arthur were too busy stuffing their faces with your cookies at an alarming rate. It was a wonder how they haven’t choked yet. Both men stared at each other as a grabbed more cookies and shoved them into their mouths, causing you to roll your eyes. “If I were you I’d slow down. You might choke.”

“Things change Y/n, I changed ok? Now are you coming back or not.” he huffed out, towering over you as he stood at your feet. Your head tilted to the side and you switched the position of your crossed legs as you took a sip from your cup.

“If I come back with you, if I get back with you, you have everything to gain. My home, my inventions, my herbs, my sales, my intellect, my money, and most importantly my sons and I. There’s nothing for me with you, Tommy. Nothing but more heartbreak.”

Tommy opened his mouth and then closed it, realizing you were right. A growl escaped him as he threw the only thing in his hand into the fire place, which was the tea cup. The sound of it breaking caused you to jump slightly but you didn’t bat an eye. Tension began to rise as you stared into each other’s eyes, neither of you backing down. Polly- seeing the way you gripped your tea cup- decided to cut in to calm things down.

“Your sons Y/n, their beautiful. So unique as well, as expected of you, so beautifully different.” she praised with a wide smile as she placed her empty cup down to pour more. At the mention of your sons, you smiled widely and broke eye contact with Tommy who was still fuming.

“They are.” you gushed immediately, a wide yet soft smile traveling across your face as you thought of them. “They love chocolate milk and yoga and they’re so protective of each other it’s absolutely adorable! They talk in sync sometimes and their laugh! Oh god their laugh, it’s just Tommy’s back when we were kids! You should see all the pictures I have of them as babies!” tension began to dwindle as you continued to gush about your sons. But the elephant in the room only seemed to grow bigger.

“What are their names? I ask yah before but yous never answered.” 

“Oh! Sorry.” you giggled softly as you drank from your cup finishing the last of your tea, placing it down on the coaster only for Tommy to take it and fill it up with tea from Arthur’s pot. “It’s Charles and Kenji. But I call them Charlie and Kenny. They don’t like loud sound that much either.”

“Y-You kept the names.” Tommy said barely above a whisper, almost as a question as he looked at you incredulously. “You kept the names.” his voice was stronger that time but the smell of his cologne was stronger as he embraced you, placing a sudden kiss your lips causing you to melt into his arms. You weren’t nearly as over him as you thought, it seemed. “You’re coming home.”

“No Tommy. Not yet at least. If I come back it’s on my terms, not yours. I already agreed to come back. Now you just have to wait.”

“My wife and kids aren’t going to be away from me Y/n. You’re coming home and that’s fina-”

“When are you going to understand that this is my home. I built it from scratch and I’m not leaving.”

“I’m not leaving you here.”

“This isn’t Small Heath Tommy. I can make my own decisions and I don’t need you hovering. I don’t need you dictating my life. This is my house, my home, and it was made with my money. You have no authority here.”

No one said a word, Tommy still had you in his arms you still didn’t pull away. Tommy clenched and unclenched his jaw as he stared into your blazing eye. He nodded his head a few times and for once you thought the fighting was over. “Fine. Arthur, you’re driving. Aunt Pol, John can you get the boys?”

“Get the boys? Tommy you are not taking my kids from me!” you hissed, squirming in his arms ad you tried to get free of his grasp. His arms moved down to hold your waist and in one swift movement Tommy was standing and you were thrown over his shoulder. “TOMMY! PUT ME DOWN!” 

“You’re right, I’m not taking our kids from you, Y/n. I’m taking all of you with me. But since I’m feeling nice and you said there were weapons in the basement this will be our holiday home for next month.” Tommy said, completely unfazed by your yelling and kicking as Polly and John hesitated to get the sleeping boys upstairs. You were still in your robe as you thrashed around in Tommy’s arms and knowing that it was getting you nowhere you sighed and resorted to kicking. But before you could get good kick in Tommy’s free arm held your legs in place. When John and Polly came back down the boys were still asleep as they carried them.

“What about the tea and biscuits?” 

“Forget the fucking tea and biscuits John. She can make some more when we get home. Aunt Pol’s been taking care of her plants for the longest now.”

“Tommy! Put me down! This is kidnapping!” you hissed lowly, not wanting to wake your boys up, but your words fell on deaf ears. Tommy’s hand was perched on your ass as you continued to squirm around furiously, but a slap on your ass caused you to gasp and still. “Tommy!” John was behind everyone and the last one to leave the house. Since the key to the house was in the foyer he locked the door behind everyone, careful not to wake Kenji. “You can’t seriously be kidnapping me and my kids right! Aunt Pol! Are you really ok with this!? I thought you were the voice of reason of the Shelbys! Y’all can’t be serious right now! I’M NOT DRESSED! I’M INDECENT!” you pleaded, but Tommy’s grip on you tighten and Arthur opened the car door. 

“As long as you sit still you wont get exposed. And if someone does look at you that isn’t family, as your husband I have the right to kill them.” Tommy said smoothly as he sat you in the back with him. Polly gently held Charles up for Tommy to pick up, and then he passed Charles to you. You held the sleeping Charles close to you and kissed his forehead as you glared at the male next to you.

“You kill anyone and my boys see it and I’m cutting off your dick Thomas Shelby. You’re on thin ice.” a chuckle escaped the man as he took Kenji from John. With his son in his arms Tommy was able to observe the similarities between him and the toddler. His eyebrows were dark and similarly shaped, and even with his eyes closed Tommy could remember the deep blue that Kenji had in his right eye. The boy on his lap was 33% of the proof that you loved him. The other 66% being Charles and Ruby. He was the lucky one. Not the other way around like he always thought. You were smart, loyal, funny, and an amazing inventor as well. He didn’t want to think about how wrong he did you, because then he’d end up hating himself even more than he already does. With Charles in your lap, your arms held him protectively as he began to stir. Glaring at the Shelbys around you the thing that calmed you down was when Charles snuggled closer into you. And at the same time Kenji did the same to Tommy, causing his heart to clench and Tommy to hold him tighter, afraid that this was all a figment of his imagination and the worst nightmare he could ever have. The one where his brain shows him everything he’s thought about, everything he’s wanted to have with you. Only for the shoves to start again, just like they did when you left.

But instead, Tommy kissed Kenji’s freckled cheek when he thought no one was looking, being a lot more gentle with the boys than you expected him to be, almost making you happy to be near him again, almost.

“Mama?” came a soft voice from below you. Your dark eyes met the heterochromatic brown and blue of Charles eyes and you smiled.

“Yes Charlie?”

“Are ‘e living wif Daddy nows?”

You knew Tommy heard him and Tommy knew you knew as well. Out of the corner of your eye you could see him watching you, waiting for your response, but you didn’t directly look at him. You both knew what your answer was going to be without you even having to say it, Tommy’s smug smile only proved so. 

“For now? Yes baby. But just for now. We wouldn’t want the chickens to feel lonely now would we?” you whispered back causing a chuckle to escape Tommy. Having enough of his shit you kicked him in the shin, careful not to disturb your sons. Now it was your turn to chuckle as Tommy bit his lip to hold in the sound of pain. Polly laughed softly at the face Tommy was making, and to save himself from further embarrassment he shifted the attention away from him. 

“You ‘ear that Johnny boy? She has chickens! Maybe you should take her home instead.” Tommy teased with a smile. John rolled his eyes but the smile on his face was apparent as Tommy laughed, tilting his head back in the process. The same laugh he passed onto your sons came out of him, and if anyone asked you would deny the fact that it was calming to hear. “Now we have to come back, wouldn’t want the chickens to starve either.”

Charles fell back asleep in your arms without another word as Kenji’s thumb rested in his mouth. The way their eyes fluttered was a tell told tale to you that they were in a deep sleep. Allowing you the chance to finally speak your mind. “You know. You all have a lot of fucking nerve to come searching for me and then take me from, excuse my language but, my goddamned home. And you have even more nerve that if you think for a second that I’ll just turn over and do what ever the fuck you say. Tommy for one, you look like shit and that tells me just how much control you have over all the shit you’ve caused. Who the fuck did you double cross this time you bloody idiot.-”

“Ahh, and there she is. It was weird not hearing you curse.” Polly cut you off with a soft chuckle as she lit a cigarette and blew the smoke out away from you and the boys. 

“You’re all inconsiderate jackasses sometimes, you know that? I have two toddlers to take care of and yet you still want to drag me into this. Tell when the people that hurt you Tommy, did they go after anyone else? Who died? Who got hurt?” you asked calmly, your voice betraying how you actually felt. But even as you ranted, your eyes never left the figures of your sons. “It’s been three years but it seems like the only one who has changed is me. And now you wanna drag me into all of this to solve the mess you made. Well guess what, if you think I’m going to forgive you and come crawling back you have another thing coming Thomas Shelby. I loved you with all my heart and the only thing I got in return was a bullet and a broken heart. So how about for once in your goddamn life you take responsibility for the mess you’ve made and clean it up yourself, cause I’m not making you shit other than tea.”

“Y/n-”

“Save it Tommy. I dont need to hear any more of your fucking empty promises.” you hissed as you throat tightened and your eyes became glossy. 

“Y/n please don’t cry..”

“How can I not Polly? He cheated on me. He broke my heart. I _watched _him fall out of love with me and in love with someone else. I know I’m not pale, blonde, not extra skinny or dripping with femininity like she was. But I didn’t think it would matter, because I loved you Tommy and I thought you loved me. I gave you everything I had to fucking offer and even that wasn’t enough for you. Because you’re never fucking satisfied Thomas Shelby.”

‘Y/n please..” Tommy mumbled as he shifted Kenji on his lap. He looked like a deer caught in the headlights, scared that if he moved you’ll cry even more. Pol watched with sad eyes, but didn’t say anything, it wasn’t her place after all.

“I gave you everything I had and it wasn’t enough… No, because instead you fell for the barmaid spy. The same one that ratted you out. And even after finding out what she did. Even after I took that bullet for you, the same bullet that killed my baby and almost killed me, you spent the night with her. I-I- I can’t forgive you for that and I never will Tommy. And if it wasn’t for these two sleeping angel that I gave birth to alone, none of this would be happening. My boys deserve the chance to know you, and to love you. The same way I loved you. And if they choose to hate you instead that will be no one’s fault but your own.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Tommy finally said after a minute of tense silence.

“It means you have a week. That’s how long you have before I take my sons back home. Because at the end of the day the barmaid may have tempted you but she’s not the one that said ‘I do’ at the altar. Nope, that was you Thomas Shelby and now because of that I love you just as much as I hate you.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> finally got the inspo to write

The ride back to Brighimton was fairly long, you didn't even realize when you drifted off. When you came to the sun was setting and you were alone in an unknown bedroom. Springing up you were out of the bed in record time, your robe was on a stool on the other side of the room and you threw it on haphazardly as you rushed out of the room. To the left of the room were a set of stairs and you ran down skipping steps in the process as you reached the ground level "Charlie!? Kenny!? Where are you!?"

There was a blur of hair and just like that you were tackled by two strong but small forces. Pairs of brown and blue eyes looked up at you with adoration as they giggled loudly and hugged your legs tightly. “Mama’s up!” the both cried excitedly, jumping up and down. Relief washed through you as you knelt down to their level and administered kisses all over their faces with posthaste. Their giggles put a smile on your face as you held their squirming bodies close. 

"Hello my darlings! Do you know where everyone is?" You asked softly as the squirmed and giggled. They both simultaneously point down the hall. 

"D'er!" 

"How about you two lead Mama there?" You said as you stood up. Both of the latched onto your hands and began pulling you in the direction of where they pointed you could hear voices coming from that area, meaning they most likely ignored your calls for your sons or told them to go to you. Sitting on the couch was Pol next to a young looking man you didn't know and Finn. Across from them in the love seat was Tommy and John, and finally Arthur in the arm chair. Tommy was sporting a cigarette as always but he wasn't your concern. "FINNY!" 

Finn's head turned to look at you and a smile immediately graced his face as quickly stood to hug you. Now, you weren't the shortest person around, since you stood around average height for a women of color, but Finn stood slightly taller than you which was a shock. But you with your face in Each other's necks you hugged tightly. "Missed you too. Y/n" 

"Why didn't we get welcome like that?" Arthur teased halfheartedly.

"Because Finn's my favorite Shelby, he didn't barge into my home unannounced, and he's not the reason why I have 2 kids instead of 3. Any more questions?" You said without hesitation. 

"..No Ma'am" 

"Good." You said as you pulled away from the young boy. You then cupped his face and smiled widely at him. He was almost an adult but still had his cute childish face you loved seeing during the war. He had his honorary Peaky Blinder haircut and it looked great on him as well. "I knew you were going to be a teenager, but my god are you bigger than I expected. You've grown up so much these past 3 years. And your writing has improved as well, I saw your letter!" 

"Yeah.. Its been a while. I wasn't expecting yous to be a mum either." Finn said honestly as he leaned into your touch. Despite the age gap between the two of you of eleven years, the two of you were as thick as thieves. A chuckle escaped you and you kissed Finn's forehead. " 'M glad you're back."

Your eyes then landed on the stranger next to Pol. The two of you held your stare for a while before he looked away bashfully. Kenji and Charles were long gone, already talking their father's ear off a mile a minute as they squeezed in to sit on either side of him. It was shocking how fast Tommy warmed up to being a father, but at the same time you could see how uneasy he was. "And who's this handsome young lad? New worker?"

"No it's Pol's son, Michael, our cousin."John said, drinking from a warm cup of whiskey. You smiled at the younger male and held your hand out for him to shake. He hesitated at first but gave you a firm handshake with a smile. 

"I'm Y/n L/n-" 

"Shelby" Tommy interrupted without breaking eye contact between his sons, who were no longer speaking in a way he understood.

"As I was saying I am Y/n  _ L/n _ . And it's nice to meet you. Those two boys there are my sons. Charles and Kenji, but you've probably already met them." You said in a sickly sweet tone without batting an eye at Tommy's interruption. A small blush formed on Michael's cheeks and he nodded. 

"Michael um.. Michael Gray it's nice to meet you Ms. L/n-" 

"Shelby."

"Ms. Shel-”

"No, sweetie you had it right the first time. Don't listen to Thomas." You said with a smile to the confused teen. Pol rolled her eyes and gave Michael's knee a brief squeeze to calm the boy down. 

"Don't call me that Y/n." Tommy said as he ran his fingers through Charlie's hair, careful not to get his fingers tangled up in the curls.

"Have the boys eaten yet?" You said, ignoring the man you used to be married to. Pol shook her head and pointed to the kitchen. 

"I offered to make them food but they refused. Stubborn lot, those boys." 

"Boys what do you want to eat for dinner?" you asked, gaining their attention immediately. The two of them were still talking in the babble none of the Shelby's understood. But you on the other hand just nodded and went in the direction of the kitchen. 

"You understand their baby babble?" Pol asked shocked as she watched you leave to the kitchen, Finn following behind you.

"It's not baby babble, it's Hebrew. I taught them to speak multiple languages in case of emergency, or if they need a job when they get older. Even if they're only half black they'll still face difficulties because of the color of their skin." You said solemnly as you took flour out of the cabinet. 

"You know more than one language?" Tommy said in shock as he turned to face the kitchen. He's been with you since you were teenager, and you being multilingual has never come up in any conversation. 

"You didn't know?" came Finn's voice from next to you as he watched you make dough with great curiosity. "She's talked it around us all the time growing up. Even taught me a little bit of Spanish." 

You rolled your eyes and sighed, you really wished you acknowledged their lack of interest in you sooner. Now look where it's got you. Taking the dough out of the bowl, you placed it on the powered counter and began to kned it. "Finny go wash your hands so you can help."

The teenage boy nodded his head and made his way over to the sink with no argument. A smile graced your face as you relaxed a little more. 

"Mama!" 

Turning your head you looked at the boys and smiled. Both of them were up and running over to you, grasping your robes as they held onto your legs. 

"Wan 'elp!" They both exclaimed. But you shook your head. 

"Sorry boys. This isn't our home and we can't have you making a mess." You said softly as Finn approached you. The boy took over the kneading of the dough, just like how you taught him when you were younger.

"Oh nonsense Y/n! It's not everyday boys are interested in cooking. You should let them help."

"No… Trust me on this one Pol. I still have dough on my ceiling. The mess they tend to make is horrific."

  
  


\---

Within the next hour pasta was made for the boys and they chowed done on it immediately. You made sure to make a soup/broth with it for them to enjoy. You tried to make a big batch for everyone but that didn't work out since Arthur decided to take huge servings.

“Arthur you can't be serious right now!” You board line yelled. The older man laughed, back facing everyone as he hurriedly swallowed mouthful after mouthful of the ramen. He was on his second serving already and you haven't even had your first. Laughter filled the room as you scolded the man for eating like a pig despite not everyone getting to eat. Tommy ate from his own bowl amused as he watched everything go . Finn was on Arthurs back, trying to get his bowl back from brother. 

“GIVE IT BACK ARTHUR! THAT WAS MINE!” he screamed. A sigh escaped you at the chaos that surrounded you. And even with all the screaming and fighting you couldn't help but smile at the happy demeanor the twins had as they sat on the ground. Kneeling down you kissed Charlie and Kenny on the forehead, smiling lovingly at them. Tommy watched the way you interacted with the twins closely. And he couldn't help but notice the warmth and beauty that radiated from you, you were always beautiful to him but motherhood seemed to ampliphy that. 

“Y/n. Have you eaten?” Tommy asked as he looked down at you. You glared at your ex husband before shaking your head with a shrug. This caused you sons to simultaneously hold out their forks for you to take some of their food. A soft giggle escaped your lips at your sons’ generosity but you shook your head.

“Thank you, my loves, but you have to eat if you want to grow. Mommy is fine.” You said softly. A scream came from behind you, coming from Arthur which you ignored. Finn finally got his bowl back by biting his brother. 

“Here.” Tommy said, holding out his own bowl. He had eaten well over half but there was enough food in his bowl to satisfy. You looked at him and the bowl, taking it without a word. With hesitation you began to eat after sitting next to Tommy. Almost immediately his arm went around you, and in moments like these you wish you were strong enough to reject him. You wish you could push him away. But deep down you knew you missed him.

  
  


You always did.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally got the inspo to write again

Hours passed and within that time the twins were put to bed in the guest room with Finn. Fighting with Arthur to get his food back made Finn extremely tired, and eating the serving of food he had only made him moreso. Now you sat next Tommy, his arm still around you, as you drank from a cup of tea. The tea wasn't as good as the ones you had back home but they’d do for now. Across from you was Polly and Micheal and to your side was Arthur in the Arm chair. “So are you gonna tell me what was important that you had to kidnap my kids and I or…?”

“Our-”

“Tommy, I swear to god I'll strangle you right here and now if you don't shut your bloody mouth up.”

“Have you heard of a man called Sabini?” Pol started as she crossed her legs. You nodded slowly, confusion on your face as placed the tea on the coffee table. Pol didn't say anything, but instead just stared at you. It took you a moment to understand, but when you did you gasp and jolted up.

“You didn't! Tommy! I swear you better not have started a war with him, and then dragged my kids and I into it.” You yelled as you glared down at the smoking man. Now the way he looked made so much more sense. 

“I didn't even know about the kids until the day before yesterday.” Tommy started with a groan, as he sat up straighter. “And we thought this would’ve been easier, until we saw your logo on one of the weapons at Solomons’.”

“Tommy. What the hell did you do? I know that look. You're hiding something from me. I want you everything. Every detail even the smallest ones. I’m not putting my kids at risk blindly, just for you to prove a point.” You hissed. Tommy sighed and ran a hand across his face. 

“I wanted to expand to London. And things got out of hand.” he said softly and carefully. You took a deep breath and covered your face. 

“How many? How many people did you hurt?” You said softly. 

“It was all a blur, honestly. But probably over a dozen.” Arthur said, finally speaking up from the silence. You groaned loudly and plopped back down in the love seat, covering your face as your mind ran wild. 

“I know there's definitely more going on. Tommy, you better tell me everything if you want my help. As for Alfie.. Ask him if he's in need of bakers-” You started to explain. 

“Bakers? Why the fuck would he need people to make bread?” John asked from next to Pol. You glared at the older man for a second for interrupting you. And immediately he closed his mouth.

“They won't really be baking bread dummy. Just like how you guys don't really book keep. It's a cover up.” You explained. “Just make sure to tell your chosen men to not touch the bread. It might explode.” 

Tommy took a drag of his cigarette as he leaned back in his once more. “Alfie? You mean Solomans? You're on a first name basis with the bloke?”

“I already told you he helped have my home built when I was pregnant. So yes, I am on a first name basis with him. Now Pol, where’s your phone? I have some calls to make regarding some personal business.” You said calmly.

  
  


\----

  
  


“Mary? Is that you?” You asked softly. You always had trouble remembering the correct name to say when it came to phone call operators. A soft squeal escaped the person on the other line and you immediately relaxed.

“Dearest Sister! I’ve been awaiting your call forever! I was beginning to worry, I almost had guards sent to your home!” came Mary’s voice. “Where are my nephews? I do hope you’re treating them well.”

“They’re sleeping. Can you please tell mother and father to send a carriage for the morrow? I’ll telegram the address later.” You said softly. You could hear your elder sister moving through the phone, most likely sitting down in concern.

“Sister.. Where are you? Is everything alright? Do I need to send guards after all?” Mary said, clutching the pearl necklace around her neck in worry.

“Everything is… going dearest sister. It’s just a bit of an unforeseen obstacle.” You tried to explain softly. But your sister was having none of it. The two of you didn't grow up all that close together due to different mothers, but you were close nonetheless. While you were the daughter of a lower noble, yet everyday woman. She was the daughter of a queen. You shared a loving father, and were raised by him. Your mother was your father’s first love and when he was married to Mary of teck he was also seeing your mother. The two women had their odds but were overall close. So when your mother died giving birth to you you were raised by both sides of your family. Your mother’s family did spy work, among other things, for the royal family and because of that you were raised in many places and traveled often. But from fall to the New Year you were with the Royal family. So with this difference of cultural code switching was a gift of yours.

“Y/n…” Mary said softly and dangerously. While she was a kind older sister, she was also wicked protective of you and hated secrets. 

“Apologies sister.” You said softly, knowing better than to try and hide the severity of everything going on. “Their father has found me and decided it would be best for him to be with his children and his… wife. So despite me being in my under clothes, he has taken us-.”

In the background you could hear something break, causing you to sigh since you knew what was coming. “HE WHAT!?”

“Mary.. Please calm yourself. If you carry on like this father will be alerted. Or worse Mother.” you whined. The last thing you needed was your step mother getting involved. She was proud to be present in her kids lives, and took relationships very seriously. Your family didn't know much about the Shelby’s but did know the brothers served in the war. So your parents had some respect for your ‘husband’ and family. But that didn't make them any less sceptical. 

“I’m calm. I’m calm. Are you doing alright? Are the kids ok? He didn't hurt you di-” Marry rambled but thee was a sound of a door opening and you could hear multiple hurried footsteps.

“Is everything all right Victoria!?” came multiple voices and inwardly you groaned at your older brother’s voices.

“Mary don't tell them. They’ll start a war.” You whined. Mary glanced at the broken tea cup and then the two Princes she called brothers. The both looked frantically around the room for any trouble and when they saw none the relaxed. “Sister please. I wish not for any trouble. I have everything handled.”

Mary grumbled for a second before giving the older men soft smiles. “Forgive me brothers. I am on the phone with our dearest sister who has informed me she will be late for tea.”

“Is tea really that important to you women?” Edward groaned as he placed his sword back in its sheath. Annoyance was clear on his face as he snatched the phone from Mary and placed it to his ear. “And you, what reason do you have for being late? I wish to see my nephews and little sister for as long as possible.”

“Yeah!” Came not so far from behind. Glancing over your shoulder you looked out of the kitchen to make sure your conversation couldn't be heard. You knew Tommy was most likely trying to listen in but Pol was talking loud enough to cover your soft voice. 

“I had unforeseen business elsewhere dear brother. I apologize for not allowing you the quality time you so rightfully deserve.” you said with a roll of your eyes. “ Now can you put Mary back on please? We were talking about women stuff.”

“No. I wish to know what business could possibly be more important than me.” Edward said, causing you to groan. 

“Alright you bloody listen here-”

“That wasn't very princess-like of you, Y/n.” George teased. 

“Oh will you two leave her alone!” Mary finally said. Snatching the phone back from her elder brothers and trying to shoo them away. “When will you send the telegram for the carriage? In an hour? Mother will be quite curious you know.”

“Curious of what?” Came from the doorway of Mary’s room. And there she stood, the queen, your mother. You could hear her voice through the phone and you could help but to inwardly groan. 

“Y/n is on the telephone. She said she’ll be late for tea.” George answered. And you could feel your insides turn, knowing exactly what’s coming. May was very serious about punctuality even in situations that didn't involve her. 

“Dearest sister. I love you greatly but I must go. I believe the twins have awoken.” You lied. Before Mary could answer you hung up the phone with a sigh and covered your face. This was a complete mess. Now when you arrive tomorrow you’ll be bombarded with questions and forced to do punctuality lessons as punishment for hanging up on your older siblings. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> if you havent caught on yet Reader is the daughter of Henry the fifth. The king of england during the time frame of Peaky blinders. Shes the 4th child and the youngest daughter. I think i already explained it in the last chapter and yet i cant remember. My mind is kind of all over the place cause i wrote all this (as in chapter 3-5) in one night and its now 3:30am

As suspected the carriage came around noon the next day, and it was no doubt the carriage most likely belonged to somebody of status. Peaking your head out the window, you stared at the carriage waiting for your dear sister to exit. When she did a sigh of relief escaped you at the sight of dress bag in her possession. Rushing over to the door you opened it and allowed her to step in along with two guards. With most of the Shelby's gone the only person you have to worry for was Michael. Pol had some business to attend to back at the betting office while everyone else had other things to do. This left you with the twins and Michael alone in the large house. Mary was a fairly good looking young woman of about 26 years of age and recently married. She stood at 5’5 and walked with grace and elegance.

“Dearest. Is he here? There's a few words I’d like to have with him face to face.” Mary said coolly as her eyes traveled around the house as walked further in. The boys, who were in the living room, gasp at the sight of their aunt and tackled her into a hug.

“Wunt Marwee!” both of them exclaimed happily. Immediately Mary’s cold demeanor dropped as she placed the dress bag in your arms to hug the boys. 

“Hello my little darlings. Oh how I’ve missed you so! Have you been treating your mother well?” she asked happily, placing kisses all over their faces. Kenji tried to pull away, laughing loudly as he squirmed, while Charlie just stood still giggling. You smiled at your family and then turned your head towards the guards. They gave you a nod of respect while avoiding looking directly at you causing you to smile. 

“Mary, I will be upstairs changing. But before I go I must inform you. We are not alone in this house. An in-law of mine is still here, but he underage so worry not. No harm must come to him though.” you said as you way to the stairs. If Mary heard you she did not show it as she kept dotting on her nephews. With a sigh you rolled your neck as you walked up the stairs wondering how this life will play out. With the knowledge you had from your previous life you could easily become a world renowned scientist but as a black woman you had to be more cautious. Even though you were a princess royal you had to be careful. The public didn't even know of your existence for christ sake. 

Soon enough you found yourself back in the room you slept in with the boys and after closing the door you began to derope. The 1920’s clothing style wasn't all that flattering towards your figure but it’ll have to do. The gown that your sister chose for you was fairly nice. It was a light blue flapper style dress that was off shoulder and slightly snugg. By the looks of it your mother probably helped pick it out due to the placing of the waist. You slid your way into the nice gown and sighed comfortable at the feeling of the soft silk. There was minimal beading on the dress with you enjoyed and it came with white gloves that matched the coat your sister had packed inside. Just as you finished getting dress your door opened. Turning around you met the eyes of a shell shocked Micheal. 

“The princess of England is in our home!” he whispered yelled. It looked like he wanted to say more but once she saw your new clothing confusion covered his face. “Where did you get that? Mum said you forgot to pack clothing on your way here.”

“Micheal, can you keep a secret?” You asked with a soft smile as you gathered your old clothing and placed it in the dress bag. With the bag folded in half you placed it under the bed and dusted yourself off. 

“Um, yes I believe so? Do you know why the princess is here? Is she a friend of yours?” Micheal asked carefully. You walked out of the bedroom dorm and chuckled softly. You really didn't want anyone to know of your lineage but nothing ever seems to go your way ever since your death. Micheal followed close behind you, still waiting on your answer as you walked down stairs. Once you were down the stairs you smiled at your sons as they laid on top of Mary. 

“Boys. Please get off your aunt. You’ll dirty her clothes.” You said softly. 

“Aw, sister, truly it’s no big deal. My nephews mean no harm and this dress could easily be replaced.” Mary dismissed. “Oh? And who might this young lad be?” 

“Mary, this is Micheal Gray cousin of my ex husband. Micheal, this my dearest sister Princess Mary.” You said in your formal voice. While Micheal was shocked at the new information Mary kindly held out her hand. Which Micheal took and nervously kissed. 

“I-It’s very nice to meet you, your majesty.” Micheal stutter nervously. This caused Mary to giggle and glance over to you. 

“So I guess I can assume they don't know who you fully are, dearest?”

“Heavens no. That would make things too complicated. And just imagine if word got out? I’d be held for ransom every week. And we wouldn't want my precious boys to get involved now would we? They have the mark after all.” You said simply as you brushed your sons off. “I do wish I could bring the boys with me to the palace. But knowing their fa-”

“Y/n please. Just allow me one punch. That's all I ask.” Mary pleaded causing you to giggle. Being with your family always made you feel like a double agent. You had to act submissive, passive, dainty, and delicate as the youngest daughter. Always in need of protecting despite being so independent. On one hand it was tiring to pretend to be so soft. But on the other hand it was comforting to know you didn't always have to be defensive and one your guard. It was like yin and yang honestly. Two sides of the same coin.

“It’s not very lady like to insight violence Mary. What would mother think?” you teased softly causing Mary to grumble and sigh.

“Fine, but if I ever see him you best not hold me back.” she huffed.

“Sisters.. Tommy is married to one of the princesses of England.” Micheal said, slowly moving over to the couch to sit down. This caused both you and Mary to laugh, while the guards chuckled. 

“Correct. However, he was married as in past tense. We are no longer together.” you clarified. “I’ll be back around 10. Please keep a close eye on the boys and do remember to keep this a secret. We wouldn't want you to have a little accident now would we?” you warned with a firm look. You then gave your sons a smile and kissed both of their heads. “Mommy’s going to the tea shop, Ok? I’ll be back later, my loves. Be good.”

Micheal nodded with a gulp and glanced at the twin that were drawing again while talking in hebrew. 

\---

Bouncing his leg Tommy reluctantly filled out paperwork in his office. He wanted nothing more than to be home with you and his sons but work needed to be done now for his free time later. He needed to get this done. He had to work out his plans for working with Solomons, plan for working with Campbell and then on top of that, figure out how he was going to tell you about all this. Overall nothing was easy and everything was complicated. You were loyal to Solomons for an unknown reason to him and that rubbed him the wrong way as well. Maybe you were together -- no-- Tommy couldn't have that. The mere thought made the man growl lowly in his throat. The mere thought of you not being his was preposterous, yet so believable. You weren't his anymore and you even said so yourself. But that didn't change his entitlement. You were his for so long after all. Before the war, during, and after so why change that. Tommy had everything he wanted --everything he needed-- and if he did, why didn't you as well?

leaning back into his chair, Tommy covered his face and groomed and relaxation. He had what he wanted and needed. But you didn't. He had you. But you didn't have him. During and after the war is when you lost him. And that for a second does he think of you. He really was a selfish man. And his selfishness is the reason why he lost you in the process along with his daughter.

And it was his fault. His mistakes cost him his marriage and almost his children as well. 

Standing up, he threw his jacket on and jogged out of the office. It was Midday, around 2 in the afternoon, so you should be up by now. With new found vigor, he quickly drove to Polly’s house and as he drove he couldn't help but to glance at the flowers next to him. He knew you wouldn't forgive him immediately but this was a good start.

When he got to Polly's house he parked his car and grab the flowers. Using the spare key probably let him keep you unlock the door and entered. “Y/n? Pol?”

“Over here!”

Clearing his throat and taking off his jacket he followed the sound of Pol’s voice into the living room. Pol sat on the couch drinking tea as she watched the boys talk in the way he couldn't quite understand yet. “ It's shocking ain't it? They're perfect Tommy. Y/n raising them well. They're even learning how to read at this young age.”

“Where is she?” 

Pol looked up at her nephew with indifference and then looked at the flowers in shock. “Those for her? I didn't peg you as the type to bring flowers.” Pol said as she put down her teacup and walked over to her nephew. She took the flowers from his grasp gently and walked into the kitchen. “According to Michael you just missed her by an hour or so. Something about a work emergency. Apparently the emergency was so big she left the boys with him until further notice.” 

Tommy sat on the couch watching his sons play together with a smile .The last thing he expected was for him to have a family. Granted, this wasn’t going to be easy, you still haven't forgiven him for cheating and he still has contact with Grace. But he wanted to make this work, he really did.

“Since you’re here, I’m going into town to get some groceries. It’s a good thing you came back. Now you can watch your sons.” Pol said as walked back into the living room to grab her teacup. Downing her drink, she let out a sigh of relief. “Oh, how I’ve missed this.”

“Why are you going to town? Don’t you have a maid?”

“Don't you have paperwork?”

“Touche.”

Pol walked away to put her dishes in the kitchen and then grabbed her coat on the way out. This left Tommy alone with Charles and Kenji. Since they were alone and Tommy didn't have to worry about being made fun of, he slid down onto the floor and sat across from both boys. “What are you playing?”

  
  


“‘e play… ‘e on’t know what we plays yet ‘addy.” they both said as they looked at each other in confusion. Them talking simultaneously is something Tommy would have to take time to get used to, but at the same time he couldn't help but find it endearing. Along with him finding their way of speech cute, he couldn't help but to feel a sense of pride at them calling him daddy. 

“You don't know? Huh, that's no good. Do you have anything you want to play with?” he said with a fond smile as he leaned on to his side. 

“Our ‘oys at ‘ome.” Charles said with a pout as he stopped pulling at the rug. It was then Tommy realized they were still wearing the same clothes from the day before. Since they technically kidnapped you, none of you had clothes. 

‘Wait.’ Tommy thought to himself as gears began to turn. You were indecent when they took you, wearing nothing but a robe and pajamas. And it wasn't like you and Pol were the same size either so what were you wearing right now? “Where did your mother go? If you tell me, daddy will see if he can take you back home to get some toys.”

“Mama go tea ‘op!” Kenji said as he curled up and snuggled into the chest of his father. As he cuddled up he brought his marking pen and paper with him so he could continue drawing. Charles followed not too far behind his brother and in second Tommy had his two toddlers snuggled close into him. Having a family and kids to take care of is something that would take time for him to get used to but he loved it nonetheless. It was amazing how easily the twins warmed up to him, and he was thankful for that. Thankful for having the chance to be a part of their lives, thankful that you would allow it. Instinctively Tommy’s arms wrapped around them and held the close without getting in the way of their drawing. 

“Yeah! Tea ‘op!” Charles mimicked. Collective moment of silence was exchanged before Charles spoke again. “‘addy?”

“Yes Charlie?”

“Do’s yous love Mama?”

Tommy looked at the boys incredulously, not really knowing how to answer at first. “Of course I do. Why? Did your mother say something?”

“Mama says yous no wif us cause yous work lots.” Charles said. “‘oes t’is mean yous no work no more?”

“No, Daddy still works. But he decided to come back.” Tommy lied with a tender smile. 

“So ‘addy stay now? No go ‘way?” they both said, excitement clear on their faces.

“Daddy stay now.”

“Good! Cause Mama missed ‘addy lots. So did Kenny and Charlie!”

Tommy smiled and sat up, pulling both boys into a tight embrace. He kissed their heads repeatedly, and ruffled their hair causing them to giggle. Little did he know, Pol stood on the other side of the room listening carefully with a smile. 


End file.
